My First Word was “Kitty”, and that is How I Know I Have Empathy

For as long as I can remember, I was told I did not possess the capacity to care about others: “You only care about yourself”, or: “She’s autistic, she can’t understand how anyone else feels”.

This was quite hurtful, because, though I did not (and still do not) form as close bonds with others as most people do, in my way, I DO care.

I did not speak until I was over 3 years old. My mother, concerned, used to take me out for walks around the block to help calm me and she put bells on my shoes to attract the kitties, which she knew I liked. I still remember those heavy, white orthotic shoes (I was pigeon toed, medically known as metatarsus varus). With silver bells in the laces.

You think that might scare the cats, but no, they ran to me and, boy, did I love them. The soft fur, their delicate yet muscular strength. And the wonderful frequency they purr at…Between 25 and 150 Hertz, during both inhalation AND exhalation. It is posited this frequency range can assist with bone healing and density. Guess, you’d have to cover yourself with purring cats if you had osteoporosis. I mean, how would you use cats to aid bone health in a practical manner?

A place online, sells what they call “Ohm Octave” tuning forks which they claim restore balance to the body and peace of mind, I think there may be something to it, so do not instantly discount it. I would rather have a purring kitty than a tuning fork, but I have tried the forks before and they ARE pretty good, Comforting. For me.,

And what about  cats who sense when people are sick or dying, like Oscar? ?

There is something funny here – I love kitties so much, yet I would be somewhat reticent to invite Oscar in – like, “shoo, cat – I’m not gonna die  tonight AM I?”

Wonder if old Oscar is experiencing a higher level of rejection since being designated  the death kitty. Hmm,,,

Frequencies under 100 Hertz can be difficult to hear without a subwoofer, but most of us know that rumbling feeling as a cat purrs on our lap – we FEEL it rather than hear it.

I have always been a very tactile person, and many of my self stimulatory behaviors are tactile. Touching, stroking, squishing, jerking away from, punching, kicking, hitting – you get the picture.

Eh, I’m getting off track…

So, “kitty” was my first word, and as I drew the kitties to me with the bells and myself,  I believe they showed me, through their soft yet firm assimilation ( don’t ask), that, yes, I CAN feel affection and even empathy for people.

It has taken many years, into middle age to recognize this, and I am lust grateful I am getting it – better late than never.

Thar purr frequency is very soothing.

Here are some links:




  1. wow! i really enjoyed reading this! my son is 13 and has autism. he is verbal enough, but does not have fluent communication (yet). I like getting perspective from those of you with autism that are willing to share their voice with us parents. Thank you so so much!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are very welcome. I am not as expressive in person as I do not have clear diction, my modulation is for and I get very frustrated when people don’t understand me. But I can write and so that is what I do, and really do appreciate comments like yours!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We have my son practicing his typing skills as his handwriting is pretty illegible. My Hope Is that as he progresses in his typing that he will be able to fill in the gaps where his speech falters.

        Do you follow Carly Fleischmann on Facebook? She is nonverbal, but writes beautifully.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s